LASIK

On Friday I took the plunge and got LASIK surgery on my eyes. It was weird, because it all felt kind of impulsive, and even the people at the surgery center were pretty nonchalant about the whole thing. I got suckered into getting an evaluation by a clever ad (as low as $250 per eye!—I knew it wouldn't be that low for mine, but I thought I'd at least get a real quote), and when I went in, they basically all but assume that you're just going to get LASIK on your way out, and I'm just like, *This is life-changing surgery! You can't just walk in one day and get LASIK the next!* And when I left the evaluation, they handed me a bunch of prescriptions "to bring with you when you come in for your surgery" and I'm like, *I have not committed to this yet, you're just going to hand me a bunch of drugs??* I mean, they were basically useless to anyone not getting LASIK, but it all just felt very cavalier. But long story short, in the end I did decide to get the surgery... I mean, I had been thinking about it with varying degrees of seriousness for a while, so it wasn't THAT impulsive. But ya, part of me still can’t believe I actually let someone cut into my eyeballs with lasers... haha. 

The actual surgery itself was a lot like riding a roller coaster (and by that I mean what riding a roller coaster is like for me). A lot of the worst of it (but not all) was in the anticipation. As I was sitting in the waiting room, trying to not let my nerves overwhelm me, I thought, *I will be so glad when this is over.... unless of course something goes horribly wrong!!* Then as they laid me back in the operating chair I had a moment’s thought of, *Wait! I changed my mind! I don’t want to do this!* Fortunately the rational part of me managed to hold that little mental outburst in (I've had practice on a few actual roller coasters...), and I let them go through with it. Then, the lady didn’t get the anesthetic on my right eye done properly—she missed, and a lot of it ended up on my eyelid instead of in my eyeball. This after I even told her I was concerned about the anesthetic not working properly and she said she’d make a note about that! I mean, I still got enough that I did not involuntarily jerk my head back at the laser and permanently damage my eyeball (which was my main concern), but I definitely was feeling more than the “pressure” they tell you to expect, and this is where it was a lot like a roller coaster for me, where I'm just kind of bracing myself against the unpleasant sensation and willing it to end. The big difference, though, was that on a roller coaster you don’t have someone calmly murmuring instructions into your ear, telling you how long it’ll take and counting down the seconds, so I appreciated that. My surgeon told me he’s done 80,000 eyes, so I guess he’s pretty good at it by now. My biggest fear, really, though, was that I wouldn’t be able to focus my eye properly (which feels kind of difficult when your vision keeps fading in and out...) for the laser to do its job, so that also made the actual surgery part kind of unpleasant. But the whole thing really did take about 5 minutes. They do two procedures on each eye that take about 20 seconds each, with some positioning, etc, in between. So while it was not really a fun 5 minutes, it really was just that long, at least. 

The bigger issue was afterward, when the anesthetic in my right eye wore off almost immediately (because I didn’t get enough of it), so I was already in a lot of pain before I could get home and get that Ambien that they gave me into my system... My friend Brittany drove and picked me up because Matthew had an all-day deposition or something, and once I got into her car, I basically just closed my eyes and didn’t open them again, so she had to like, blind-person lead me up to my apartment and help me into bed (bless her). I worried it would be hard to fall asleep with all the pain (my left eye wore off just before we got home, but I think my right eye was overall more traumatized, because it continued to be the main source of pain), but the Ambien did its job (eventually), thankfully, so I had a few minutes’ pain and discomfort, and again when I woke up briefly after only three hours, but I was able to sleep through most of the recovery, which I guess is how they expect you to do it, since none of the multitude of prescriptions they send you away with is actually painkillers... But when I woke up about 5-1/2 hours post-surgery, all the pain was pretty much gone, just like they said it would be. I was very impressed, actually. I set a timer to lay with my eyes closed for that last half hour still, just because I didn’t want to jeopardize anything. Oh, they also make you wear these goggles to sleep in for the first 24 hours, so that you don’t inadvertently rub your eyes in your sleep while they’re still healing. 

So then I went in the next morning for the follow up appointment, and even as I was driving to it, I was actually pretty impressed at how good my vision was and starting to feel pretty happy about the whole thing. When I got there I ended up waiting a lot longer than I expected, but they gave me a donut and a T-shirt (lol), and then when they tested my eyesight on their vision charts, I actually was reading the 20/15 line with no problem! So now I’m basically very happy and really glad I decided to go for it. They say they can’t guarantee 20/20 vision, and technically that’s not what I got, but you can’t be mad about BETTER than 20/20, so life is pretty good. After the initial 6-hour recovery, I’ve been feeling pretty normal, although my eyes got a little tired about halfway through the day yesterday, and there’s definitely no temptation to skip any of my drops (they have me doing various drops about 7-8 times a day) because my eyeballs will start to feel a little irritated if I don't put something in them about every 2 hours. But I feel confident that recovery will go well from here on out, and I’m excited to have perfect vision out of my own two little eyeballs for the first time in almost 20 years!